Brian’s Billion-Dollar Business Ideas #5,688,004: Whet Your APP-etite. For the people who just need to share fucking EVERYTHING, and document each cup of coffee and meal and trek to Target and each time their dog wags its tail and they get the car washed and, well, go get the deal…
Actual Breakfast conversation: Ethical Cannibalism. “I don’t believe that it would be as simple as a cut-and-dried argument about just WHICH people would be eaten.” “True. They would have to be ‘food-safe’ or inspected like beef and so-on.” “Are we talking people farms? Like ‘we can breed them in Montana,
Oscars on your mind? Me neither, because I work for a living. But that didn’t stop me from crafting a little Movie mash-up for you. I’m a giver, after all. That said, enjoy this blended mash of Titanic and The Revenant. I call my treatment Titanic Number Two: The Remnant.
Sit back and enjoy another “Conversation Borne of Extreme Misunderstanding of Terms and Conditions” or “Brian’s Wishful Thinking, A Ride Through Old Town on a Holiday Weekend” Edition: “Look at that, will you? ‘Greatest Furniture Sale!’ That’s some lofty expectation.” “What are you talking about?” “The sign stretched across the
Oh, Hollywood, when will you learn? NO ONE wants to see a classic movie like Ghostbusters ruined by changing it all up to become some all-woman buddy movie, as evidenced by the deafening silence in theaters. You re-make, re-launch and re-define everything until the life is sucked from it time
Considering that in modern-day Hollywood, virtually everything can benefit from a remake, I’m finding time to finish a script idea that could go one of two ways: 1. ZAPRUDER! becomes a musical comedy, set in a just-off-Broadway theme, but as told from an independent filmmaker who is attempting to make
My Family’s Dinnertime Roundtable Discussion Presents: Spider-Man “Why do they keep making Spider-Man suck so bad?” “He sucks so bad his parents left.” “And why is he like twelve in Civil War?” (In mocking falsetto voice) “Hey, everybody! These pants are waaaaayyyyyy tiiiiiiiight!” “He’s SUPPOSED to be young.” “Not THAT
Round Six’s Brian does what he does (and enjoys) best: He rants about things.
Today, his focus is on Kylo Ren, that mysterious, troubled offspring of Han and Leia, and probes deeply into why his character is such a troubled young man. And all insight leads to one conclusion: Damaged Sperm.